(The current article deals with child abuse and mental health. Other articles are found in the column on the right and are arranged by date of posting.)

Panic and panic’s mates under a magnifying glass. - The impact of child abuse on mental health.

“…since I’m the mommy’s dark child, quailed at birth, I see horrors everywhere, most in human life.” (Eino Leino: Tumma) (Translation by the author of this article)

“Wainamoinen, ancient minstrel,
As he hears the joyful tidings,
Learns the death of fell Kullervo,
Speaks these words of ancient wisdom:
“O, ye many unborn nations,
Never evil nurse your children,
Never give them out to strangers,
Never trust them to the foolish!
If the child is not well nurtured,
Is not rocked and led uprightly,
Though he grow to years of manhood,
Bear a strong and shapely body,
He will never know discretion,
Never eat. the bread of honor,
Never drink the cup of wisdom.”” (Kalevala. Rune 36). http://www.gutenberg.org/files/5186/5186-h/5186-h.htm

I first describe the experience of assault and corporal punishment from a child’s viewpoint, as well as the subjective experience during a panic attack. Next, I address the elucidation of the connection between traumatic experiences and subsequent mental problems in analytical psychotherapy, particularly with respect to rejected memories. I also deal theoretically with the cause-and-effect relationship. I turn to epidemiological findings about the link between adverse childhood experiences and mental health problems (such as panic disorder, anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive disorder). In the following sections, I direct my attention to neural correlations of anxiety, fear, and panic, as well as the psychosocial effects of adverse childhood experiences. Finally, I emphasize the acceptance of value-free notions and practices based only on researched knowledge, both at the theoretical level and in the encounter of the wounded person.

Horror or panic is not just a technical term but precisely the truest truth, a subjective basic essence that fills all consciousness and seems to be an unescaped state. It is a threat of immeasurable, infinite pain and suffering. It is the certainty of the end of one’s life without the comfort of the end of torment. Only death seems to relieve the suffering. On the other hand, the experiencer who has adopted the notions of certain learning systems is not able to comfort with the idea that death could free him from suffering. The possibility of analysis has been ruled out in a panic attack. The thought hangs, the memory doesn’t work, the muscles paralyze. Reality seems to change, his own self-control weakens, and he is overwhelmed by the fear that control goes completely and the fear of the shame that others will notice his paralyzed state.

Child discipline in the form of physical violence is not just an educational or legal act of the father or mother. From the child’s point of view, he is completely helpless to fight or escape punches, pain and agony. The punches inevitably just come to whistle and incise his skin. The person he has unconditionally trusted deceives him, causing pain and agony of fear. The child does not have the capacity for any kind of analysis. It is not enough that in some cases he would identify a well-deserved cause of violence. The state of experience is holistic, completely incomprehensible and inevitable. Whistling pains and harsh grips come and cannot be avoided. There is nothing but pain, rejection and helpless loneliness.

The panic attack and the child’s physical disciplinary event are strikingly similar for the experiencer. Just as a child does not have the cognitive ability to break down an event, so in an adult panic attack, the possibility of intellectual analysis is ruled out. In practice, the memory of the connection between an individual’s panic attack and childhood assault is often erased. Panic lives its own life in its own bubble. A conscious or unconscious, external or internal factor triggers a scene. And the interval between scenes is anxiety.

 

Does childhood assault cause panic disorder?

The correspondence between two cases may be due to a causal relationship so that A causes B or B causes A in one direction or the causal relationship goes in two directions, i.e. A causes B and B causes A, which leads to a continuous interaction, one form of which is the circulus vitiosus, or vicious circle. As the value of A increases, the value of B may increase (positive correlation) or decrease (negative correlation). The effect of A on B may be mediated through additional factor C and, correspondingly, the effect of B on A may be mediated through additional factor D. Although we have an inherent tendency to search for phenomena cause-effect relationships and often stubbornly hold on to the first that leaped to our mind or adopted and accepted by our reference group, equivalences can be, and often are, completely random or the cause-effect relationship goes to reverse direction. These theoretical aspects should be kept in mind when dealing with our subject.

Psychoanalysis has focused on digging into childhood events and creating or finding logically possible connections between childhood events and the mental problems at the time of analysis. Disclosures of the investigation are considered prerequisites for getting rid of problems or at least alleviating the problems. Alice Miller’s, a psychoanalytic practitioner, who later denied the correctness of psychoanalytical theories such as collective unconscious, Oedipus complex, the fear of castration and archetypes,  remarks and insights into the importance of children’s abuse on their later development are worthy of nota. The theories of psychoanalysts, she said, cover tightly and impenetrably the real traumatic experiences of childhood. If one starts from theories to explain childhood events, the patient easily accepts the theories and creates in his mind events events, which have not actually existed. Based on the researched knowledge, we know the fragility and formability of memory. The formation of false memories is a known danger in dealing with past events.

According to Miller, the body retains a memory of the horrors of childhood, but this memory does not rise into clear consciousness but manifests itself as mental problems. The task of therapy is to restore a conscious memory connection. Any theory may feel dry and pale, it just refers to reality. Reality is the strongest and most essential of our own selves, our very existence. If, despite our repression and fallacious explanations, we succeed in reviving the memory of horror, and yet our personality would endure without breaking,  we have the opportunity to at least alleviate our malaise. According to Miller, the humiliated, despised, and underestimated fragile human saplings drift into internalized self-contempt, inhibition of emotional expressions, introversion, loneliness, depression, compulsion to repeat, fear of punishment,  fear of one's own conscience, fear of one's own soul movements, which they consider as forbidden and criminal. The abused tend to continue the beating by making their fellow human beings suffer from the blows they received themselves, with Adolf Hitler and Nicolae Ceaușescu as top examples. It is well understood that those who realize the need to stop the transfer of suffering feel aversion to violent entertainment, entertaining murder programs, or programs whose main theme is malice or perversion.

In my opinion, the most important thing in Miller’s observations is that an organic change, a memory trace, remains in our nervous system. Physical violence, pain, horror, hopelessness, loss of trust in the caregiver, contempt, disregard, blame, and the like leave traces of memory that cannot but affect later development. Our consciousness reaches only a vanishingly small part of the function of our nervous system. In reality, the manifestation of consciousness requires extensive cooperation between different parts of the brain in a time window of a few seconds. Miller seeks to approach experientially subconscious nerve functions.

The child-parent relationship is an entity in which the child's behavior also affects the parent. A restless, easily irritated, poorly cooperative child is likely to induce stronger and rougher control activities in the parent, which can lead to physical and mental trauma. In this case, the original source of trauma is more inclined to the child himself. Even then, the parent's actions do not in any way remove responsibility from the parent. The adult is obliged to choose the most subtle means of control possible. The adult is morally and legally responsible.

 

What does epidemiology say about the link between child abuse and psychiatric illness, especially panic?

Publications on the link between certain harmful childhood experiences (such as physical or sexual violence) and mental health problems are gloomy to read. Adverse childhood experiences (ACE) can be diverse, occur over a limited period of time or throughout childhood, and vary in quality and intensity. The combined effect of several such factors can be more than the sum of its parts, and traumatic experiences can be offset by positive experiences. ACEs are multidimensional. The ACE categories used in different studies often overlap and the same experience may include the characteristics of another experience category. Corporal punishment and sexual abuse predisposed to subsequent panic attacks and panic disorder in a New Zealand longitudinal study (Goodwin RG, et al, 2005). In obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), symptom severity and depression correlate with childhood abuse (Ou W, et al. 2021). The intensity of perceived childhood abuse was associated with the severity of OCD symptoms (Boger S, et al. 2020). The connection was particularly strong for emotional assault. Symptoms of OCD in the battered were more severe than in the unbattered before treatment, after treatment, and at follow-up. Childhood physical assault is associated with lung disease, smoking, anxiety disorders, and depression even after consideration of many confusing demographic factors (Goodwin RD, et al. 2012). Physical and emotional abuse and neglect have causal links to depression, medication use, suicide attempts, venereal diseases, and risky sexual behavior (Norman RE, et al 2012). Recently (Sahle BW, et al. 2021), an extensive review article (meta-meta-analysis) on the association of adverse childhood experiences (24 different ACEs) with general mental disorders and suicidal susceptibility has been published. An association was found with anxiety disorders, internalization disorders, depression, and suicidal tendency.

Understandably, epidemiological studies of the link between ACE and mental disorders are associated with a lack of adherence to golden scientific methods, in particular due to data collection (availability) but also often because of the retrospective study settings. Despite these shortcomings, the connections appear to be quite clear and consistent. However, epidemiological studies have been able to elucidate rather general adverse factors in the time continuum of childhood and the mental states experienced. Likewise, it remains unclear how the nervous system implements the consequences of the causes under consideration. In real life, there are so many variables in the time continuum that each person definitely has his own life journey and story.

What happens at the nervous level in anxiety, fear and panic?

To understand anxiety, fear, and panic at the level of the brain and body, we must have a theoretical framework in which research, findings, results, and conclusions are placed. It is evolutionarily justified to divide the functions of an organism into desire and defense behavior. Simple organisms tend to approach life-sustaining objects and withdraw from harmful objects. In mammals, desire and defense behavior is diverse and is largely related to similar brain structures in different species. Sharpening observation, directing attention, and preparing for action are useful in both desire and defensive behavioral contexts and are independent of animal or human approach or withdrawal directions (Lang PJ, et al. 2013). The topic of our article concerns the defense system, for which Perusini and Fanselow present (2015) a predatory imminence theory that combines anxiety, fear, and panic into the same continuum in terms of both prior states and response choices. The theory is supported by quite extensive research data on animals and humans.

I will briefly present the predatory imminence theory. More comprehensive and / or more in-depth scientific articles can be easily and abundantly found on the Internet (e.g. Tovote P, et al. 2015, https://www.frontiersin.org/research-topics/8045/pre-clinical-models-of-ptsd# articles). The first part of defensive behavior is to study the environment for potential hazards before the actual hazard, i.e. the predator, is encountered. At this stage bed nucleus of stria terminalis (BNST), lateral septum, ventral tegmental area, and basolateral amygdale is activated. In anxiety disorders, activation and risk assessments of brain regions at this stage are overemphasized. The second stage starts when the predator is encountered. In this case, the medial prefrontal cortex-amygdala-periaquaductal gray (PAG) neural network is activated as a result of perceived external factors or imagined hazards. The usual behavior associated with the situation is freezing. Fear describes the second stage. When a beast attacks or the situation has otherwise become terribly inevitable, a third stage ensues. The subject escapes or attacks. The neural response is the inhibition of the frontal control of the brain and the activation of midbrain areas such as dorsolateral PAG. The subjective manifestation of this stage is panic.

One essential neuroscientific sub-area for our topic is the mechanisms of imprinting on one’s memory and how many repetitions are needed to achieve a long lasting memory. It appears that a memory trace at the synapse level (nerve cell junction) can be achieved with a burst of nerve activation for a few seconds (Villers A, et al. 2012). Memorizing can occur not only by synaptic plasticity but also in synapse-independent intracellular mechanisms. The memory transmission between cells can occur by ncRNA (non-coding RNA). Also the epigenetic DNA methylation may be involved (Abraham WC, et al. 2019).

Brain key areas for anxiety, fear, and panic include the amygdala, some parts of the brainstem, the front of the brain, the hippocampus, the cerebral islet, and the BNST. Learning and quenching fear partly use different neural networks (Tovote P et al 2015). Current studies make it possible to examine the connections within the cerebral region (subunits of the nuclei) and subregions of different regions of the brain (subunits of the nuclei) with the accuracy of individual nerves at the level of both electrical potentials and molecules. No single area or neuron or class of neurons is responsible for experiencing anxiety, fear, or panic. There is a need for collaboration between many regions, different nerve classes, glial cells, neurotransmitters, and hormones. The shaping factors are e.g. previous experiences and selection of recall. Traumatization contributes to many diagnostic disorders of defensive behavior (OCD, PTSD, panic disorder, and generalized anxiety disorder).

 

The impact of traumatic experiences on the psychosocial level

Human-induced traumatic events, in particular, predispose to traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The effect is even more profound when the abuser is his or her own parent. In this case, the source of safety is also a source of danger, creating confusion and disorder in the child’s mind. A traumatizing parent makes it difficult for the child to develop emotional regulation and the ability to use the help of others in times of need. The child's ability to interact effectively in a social network is impaired. They show rigid and situationally inappropriate emotional expressions, impaired emotional self-esteem, difficulty in adjusting excitement in emotionally arousing situations, and difficulty recovering from shock or suffering. Such children tend to isolate themselves or withdraw in situations of conflict and are less likely to engage in social interactions with adults and peers. They hardly expect help in difficult situations and are inclined to judge the ambiguous or even helpful efforts of others as hostile. Their ability to join and benefit from social networks has declined. These statements are not assumptions based on arm chair musing but on scientific studies and I borrowed them from the review-article (2008) of Charuvastran and Cloitre "Social Bonds and Posttraumatic Stress Disorder".

Child abuse is not limited to physical violence but can also include blaming, belittling, instilling shame, and turning a blind eye. All this, or even small parts of these, cannot be without leaving traces on dignity and self-esteem. To keep things not too simple, hardly any child would not also receive safety, protection, encouragement and other positive input from their parents. Traumas, consolations, and emotionally less charged events are so diverse during childhood that everyone develops her or his very own story and coping strategy, plus their own neural network with synapses, molecular models, epigenetic transformations, and brainwave patterns. One must also remember that a child is not just a “reflex machine” that can be adjusted from the outside, but the brain of each individual functions spontaneously, combining sensory information with these spontaneous brain functions, resulting in finding meaning from environmental events.

 

Observations on dualism-based conceptions of horror and its causes

So far, I have dealt with mental health consequences of child maltreatment according to modern, scientific, monist model. By the monistic model, I mean that measurable physical and experiential states are two different sides of the same thing when an individual operates in her or his environment, and that causes and consequences can be calculated using variables belonging to these domains. As for the pluralistic Theosophical model, it states that our conscious states exist independently of our physical body and are manifested through subtle bodies. The exact mechanism of cooperation between the various bodies is not known to the signatory. According to the doctrine, the laws of karma and rebirth prevail in our lives. They teach that the evil deeds of past lives are rewarded in subsequent lives with suffering and the good with positive consequences. Thus, in the simplest, slimmed down form, the following applies: If in this life I get beaten by my parent, I have in my previous life panned her or him concretely or done something similar to horror her or him. The conclusion was clear: I'm responsible for my hiding. In childhood, the battered suffer from a variety of ailments in childhood and later in life such as anxiety, fear, panic, obsessions, compulsions, tic symptoms, depression, worthlessness, loneliness, etc. They have internalized reproaches and blame themselves for inferiority dealing with whatever thing at any time. They are suicidal. If, in addition to all their misery, they themselves believe that they have caused, by their own previous cruelty, their present spanking with the psychic consequences, it may be the last stalk on the donkey’s back in treir endurance, or at least a pain-increasing burden. To better understand this, let’s take a concrete example. The young man has not received a study permit or a job. The object of his love has rejected him for another. Lonely and anxious, he finds no resources to get out of his predicament or to direct his life. Whenever a panic and a sense of altered reality is alleviated, he is overwhelmed by self-blame for not being able to get out of his panic attacks. On top of all that, he is overwhelmed by the preoccupation that is not based on researched knowledge, harmful to him, that he is guilty for his own fits because of the beating of his own child. I think it is thoughtless, adventurous and reprehensible to increase the suffering of these wounded tortured and drive them into possible suicide. In this regard, the interpretation of the law of karma must be wrong and requires re-evaluation. The mere sympathy and humanity for the victims requires that this cannot be right. The law of empathy is paramount and anything that wars against it is wrong. If we have enough psychic resourses, we can react coldly to our adversities (including those we classify as self-inflicted as we meant in this context) and suffer and act hopefully in the way we deem ethically right. What concerns more detailed scrutinizing and assessment of the basis and mechanisms of the laws of karma and rebirth are beyond the scope of this article.

Within Christianity and Rosicrucianism, it is considered that the object of unjust treatment should forgive the assaulter. According to Miller, a traumatic act should not be forgiven. Demanding forgiveness prevents the psychological treatment of abuse and liberation from experience. I understand that Miller means by forgiveness acceptance. Therefore, the beating is not acceptable and must be condemned. I assume that this interpretation is easily accepted. The other side of forgiveness is the conscious statement of a fact and the decision to let it be, and not emotionally (and legally) seek redress afterwards. In this case, the emotional bond with the matter is broken and the victim of injustice can continue his life and actions liberated. However, this is not the end of all dimensions. There are indelible structural and functional traces left in the brain that have inevitably effects on thoughts, feelings, and behavior. They bias unconsciously and the consciousness does not reach them, although they can be influenced deliberately to some extent. Panic and its mates horror, anxiety, fear, compulsions, and compulsive thoughts pop out anytime anywhere. In this sense, the will and decision of forgiveness are no longer in our power. According to the laws of rebirth and karma, it can be explained that the new incarnations overcome the above obstacles. This can be argued. However, scientific evidence is needed to support this claim.

 

Conclusion remarks

Corporal punishment of children is prohibited by law in Western democracies and has decreased in recent decades (Pinter S. 2012). Attitudes towards violence have also sharpened. During at least a couple of generations, the proverb “he who saves the birch, he hates his child” has already traumatized enough. The effects of children’s traumatic experiences on brain structure (Brooks SJ, et al. 2015) and function have been undeniably demonstrated, as have subjective suffering and negative effects on social behavior. Therapy is not covered in this article, but I want to mention some general principles.

A person who is shocked must be approached with respect, sympathy, empathy and matter-of-factness. One should be careful not to increase his burden and understand his impaired ability to deal flexibly with his condition. His ability to change his mental attitude, to supplement his knowledge and to keep it in working memory, and to proactively restrain automatic responses has been impaired. With respect to these states of mental resilience, he has declined, at least in most acute stages. It is imperative to avoid etiological assumptions, claims, and allusive or unspoken allusions provided by different isms and doctrines if they are not based on researched knowledge. These claims can be decisively destructive to him. An open and confidential relationship is needed, a lack of which he has certainly suffered from. In addition to these general conditions, the helper is required to have a wide range of knowledge and experience. If these conditions are not met, in the mildest case, the helpless will be left without help and, in the worst case, the person to be helped will find oneself in an increasingly confusing state and in risk of irreparable damage.

 

References

Abraham WC, Jones OD and Glanzman DL. Is plasticity of synapses the mechanism of long-term memory storage?. npj Sci. Learn. 4, 9 (2019). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41539-019-0048-y.

Boger S, Ehring T, Berberich G, Werner GG. Impact of childhood maltreatment on obsessive-compulsive disorder symptom severity and treatment outcome. Eur J Psychotraumatol. 2020 Jun 8;11(1):1753942. doi: 10.1080/20008198.2020.1753942. PMID: 33488994; PMCID: PMC7803079.

Brooks SJ, Naidoo V, Roos A, Fouché JP, Lochner C, Stein DJ. Early-life adversity and orbitofrontal and cerebellar volumes in adults with obsessive-compulsive disorder: voxel-based morphometry study. Br J Psychiatry. 2016 Jan;208(1):34-41. doi: 10.1192/bjp.bp.114.162610. Epub 2015 Sep 3. PMID: 26338992.

Charuvastra A and Cloitre M. Social Bonds and Posttraumatic Stress Disorder. Annu Rev Psychol. 2008 ; 59: 301–328. doi:10.1146/annurev.psych.58.110405.085650.

GOODWIN, R. D., FERGUSSON, D. M., & JOHN HORWOOD, L. (2005). Childhood abuse and familial violence and the risk of panic attacks and panic disorder in young adulthood. Psychological Medicine, 35(6), 881–890. doi:10.1017/s0033291704003265. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15997608/

Goodwin RD, Wamboldt FS. Childhood physical abuse and respiratory disease in the community: the role of mental health and cigarette smoking. Nicotine Tob Res. 2012;14(1):91-97. doi:10.1093/ntr/ntr126

Lang PJ, Bradley MM. Appetitive and Defensive Motivation: Goal-Directed or Goal-Determined?. Emot Rev. 2013;5(3):230-234. doi:10.1177/1754073913477511

Lang PJ, McTeague LM. The anxiety disorder spectrum: fear imagery, physiological reactivity, and differential diagnosis. Anxiety Stress Coping. 2009;22(1):5-25. doi:10.1080/10615800802478247

Miller Alice. Lahjakkaan lapsen tragedia ja todellisen itseyden etsintä. Werner Söderström Osakeyhtiö. Porvoo – Helsinki – Juva. 1986. ISBN 951-0-11911-3.

Miller, Alice. Murra vaikenemisen muuri. Werner Söderström Osakeyhtiö. Porvoo – Helsinki – Juva. 1991. ISBN 951-0-16981-1.

Norman RE, Byambaa M, De R, Butchart A, Scott J, Vos T. The long-term health consequences of child physical abuse, emotional abuse, and neglect: a systematic review and meta-analysis. PLoS Med. 2012;9(11):e1001349. doi: 10.1371/journal.pmed.1001349. Epub 2012 Nov 27. PMID: 23209385; PMCID: PMC3507962.

Ou W, Li Z, Zheng Q, Chen W, Liu J, Liu B, Zhang Y. Association Between Childhood Maltreatment and Symptoms of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: A Meta-Analysis. Front Psychiatry. 2021 Jan 20;11:612586. doi: 10.3389/fpsyt.2020.612586. PMID: 33551875; PMCID: PMC7854900.

Perusini JN, Fanselow MS. Neurobehavioral perspectives on the distinction between fear and anxiety. Learn Mem. 2015 Aug 18;22(9):417-25. doi: 10.1101/lm.039180.115. PMID: 26286652; PMCID: PMC4561408.

Pinker, Steven. The Better Angles of Our Nature. A History of Violence and Humanity. Benguin Books 2012. ISBN 978-0-141-03464-5.

Sahle, B.W., Reavley, N.J., Li, W. et al. The association between adverse childhood experiences and common mental disorders and suicidality: an umbrella review of systematic reviews and meta-analyses. Eur Child Adolesc Psychiatry (2021). https://doi.org/10.1007/s00787-021-01745-2

Tovote, P., Fadok, J. & Lüthi, A. Neuronal circuits for fear and anxiety. Nat Rev Neurosci 16, 317–331 (2015). https://doi.org/10.1038/nrn3945

Villers A, Godaux E, Ris L. Long-lasting LTP requires neither repeated trains for its induction nor protein synthesis for its development. PLoS One. 2012;7(7):e40823. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0040823

 

What causes the experience of sensory perception?

(The current article deals with sensory perception and meditation practices. Other articles are found in the column on the right and are arranged by date of posting. Please click the year and the month to find  the title and the text.)

What causes the experience of sensory perception?

Experiences from the anthroposophical path of spiritual knowledge.

The introduction of pathiaesthesia concept

According to the current, prevailing neuroscientific paradigm, both the content of consciousness and the level of consciousness are considered to be based on a biological foundation. Pragmatically, assumptions that can be tested by the scientific methods are favored in the layout of the questions. This model states that the traditional concept of a separate conscious spirit in addition to physical body, have been rejected. However, there is a long tradition of otherwordly spiritual reality. The balance of the hard problem of the philosophy of consciousness (1) has moved from dualism to monism ontologically. Each of us begins and continues to conceive existence from the building blocks he has come across in his life. In my youth, the undersigned has become familiar with a dualistic – to be more specific, pluralistic - discipline, which is still being supported, namely theosophy and the closely associated ideologies of Rosicrucianism and Rudolf Steiner´s anthroposophy. These doctrines advise on how to learn to perceive the supernatural spiritual world.

To begin with, I'll tell about the theosophical world view from the viewpoint of perception. Next, I’ll move on to the spiritual exercises described by Steiner in order to revive the supernatural means to observe the spiritual world. I publish my own results, the material of which has been gathered mainly about 50 years ago. I have not previously published results in a written form. I have already analyzed the results of the research when collecting the data of my introspection research and shortly thereafter. The main conclusions have not changed over the decades. In the reflection section, I’ll look at recent concepts of neuroscience concerning conscious perception experiences and compare these concepts with my original conclusions, as well as with rosicrucian and anthroposophical views. The unrestrained development of the 21st century neuroscience has opened up new perspectives for explaining the conscious perception.

It can’t be taken for granted that someone should start and continue to study consciousness. One has to have some reasons for this kind of enterprise. A reader of this article presumably wonders the undersigned’s reasons.  Although these reasons are beyond the scope of the present topic, I want to mention one apparently deterministic item, namely the intensive, overwhelming sense of being alive and experiencing the undersigned have undergone repeatedly.

Dualism in Theosophy and Anthroposophy

According to the theosophical and anthroposophical world view, the world of emotion and thought are concrete and objective facts. We not only subjectively feel and think, but our feelings and thoughts can also be the subject of other people's observations directly. We can, under certain conditions, look directly at others' feelings and thoughts, not just by deducting one's behavior or listening to his speech or reading his writings. Directly, without the physical means, the received information can be perception, "vibration", for example sympathy or antipathy, hearing the "inner" voice or seeing with the eyes of the soul.

Theosophy and anthroposophy teach that we will develop new senses according to nature in the future: clairaudience and clairvoyance in the far distant future. However, we can develop these senses previously, even in this life, with active exercise and ethical living. Many theosophical teachers have explained these exercises. To my knowledge, Steiner's Book “The path of Spiritual Knowledge” has been published in Finnish more than a hundred years ago in 1912. The undersigned found Reijo Wilenius’ and Katri Sorma's Finnish version. The title of the book is "How to achieve knowledge of the higher worlds" and it was published in 1968, shortly before I bought it. The English translation can be found at attached internet site (2). I began the experiment intensively, with enthusiasm and excitement. I completely trusted the instructor's personal knowledge of the item and his sincerity. The basic ethical conditions I kept in mind. In addition to Steiner, these ethical terms were offered by other theosophical literature and by Ernest Wood's "Yoga" book. The latter also deals with meditation exercises I conducted according to the instructions given.

Steiner’s training instructions and the presentation of the supposed results of the training

Steiner presents spiritual life and knowledge in three stages: preparation, illumination, and initiation. Each stage includes exercises. I'll look at each step separately in next chapters.

I. Initially, at the preparation stage, he calls for our attention to be paid to sprouting, growing and flourishing life and, on the other hand, to wilting, fading and dying. These phenomena, he claims, are associated with a certain form of emotion, spiritual lines and patterns that always appear in the same phenomena in the same way and in the same way to different persons. The objects of these observations are thus objective facts. In my opinion, the terms emotional form and mental lines and patterns were difficult to understand as ideas. We are used to the thought that a feeling is a feeling and it is not associated with a concept in two- or three-dimensional world. In other words, the shape is a visually perceptible part of two- or three-dimensional space, and it is not associated with the basic concept of subjective emotion. In thoughts, of course, we can create any kind of forms by the eyes of our soul. The end product, the form, is mental or spiritual, but the form is an object and the subject’s emotion is a separate concept.

As a practical exercise, an object is examined visually, the idea of growing is created in the mind, then one should be devoted to the feeling brought by the process of growing, and then forms and lines should be observed. Thus, when we are studying a concrete object, the process goes: first an experience of visual perception → a thought → an emotion → an experience of visual perception. If I have correctly understood, when studying an abstract case: first idea, which does not have a shape → an emotion → an experience of visual perception. Thus, the feeling is followed by a vision that is not a vision of the physical world, but a vision of via the spiritual eyes. Steiner emphasizes that one should not ponder a longer time about what this or that fact means, nor should one try at all by speculative mind to find out what these things mean. Getting acquainted with the higher worlds begins when the student is convinced of the reality of the feelings and the thoughts.

II. The pupil should pay her attention to the sounds. She should take a stand that the voice brings knowledge from the outside world of the human self. She should put her soul to what kind of emotion the producer of the sound expresses out of herself. Observation concerns both living and inanimate nature. In The exercise develops the auditory sense of the soul.

III. Particular attention should be paid to the way in which other people are listened to; one should refrain from criticizing and should lean on the audible attitude. The practice awakens the ability to perceive the inner word. Higher beings speak to the disciple precisely through the inner word that the physical ear cannot hear. Thus, it is the transfer of ideas and thoughts from a higher being to a human being. According to Steiner, internal words are not just ideas, but also have power. He would mean that power is something that causes something. Thus, the spiritual inner word can be divided into parts: idea and power.

IV. During the illumination phase, the pupil must compare a stone and an animal. How they differ from each other in terms of the ability to move. The movement of an animal is caused by desire, the shape of the stone is shaped by the power of indifference. Such exercises should awaken emotional species that are different in an animal and in a plant. These feelings can also wake up without an external object. Such feelings, and thoughts associated with them, develop spiritual eyes that add color to the shapes of observed during the preparation stage. The term color indicates roughly the quality of the observation. From a stone flows blue or purple, from an animal red or reddish yellow and from a vegetable green, which turns into an ethereal rose. Color nuances appear on a large scale. When one has attained the ability to see with the spiritual eye, at some point he also encounters higher or lower beings that are not in the physical world.

V. Take a seed before you. You have to imagine its color and shape and imagine the plant growing from the seed as an adult. Then you have to think that the imagined is accomplished by the power of the earth and the light, but an artificial seed could not accomplish the imagined, only a real seed. One has to create the idea that the invisible becomes visible and remain in this thought. By this way, you can feel by yourself a certain power, which produces a sensory-spiritual flame, a bluish-red middle and a blue edge.

VI. Next, focus on the flourishing plant and think it will die, but there is something in the plant that prevents it from disappearing, it forms seeds. The prevention of disappearing results in a feeling that turns into a new perception that resembles physical coloration; a flame formation whose center is greenish-blue and the edges are yellow-red. These exercises do not only see the present state of the objects but also the beginning and the end state. One should not just imagine the seeds and the plant, that is to say, create them yourself, but it is essential that reality creates observations in me.

VII. The next step is to think of a person whom you have sometimes found longing for something. Attention must be paid to this desire at the moment when it is at its most intense, and it is still uncertain whether the person would obtain the object of his desire. When there is as much inner peace as possible in mind, the image creates in the soul a feeling that grows in the soul to a force, which in turn becomes a spiritual perception of the soul of another person. A magnificent astral image rises in the field of view. The center creates a feeling of yellowish-red and it looks reddish blue or bluish-red at its edges.

VIII. As an addition to the exercise, you should pay attention to a person who has obtained the object of his or her desire. In this case you will experience a spiritual flame formation, the center of which feels yellow and the edges are greenish.

My results and critical comments

I tried my best to understand and follow the instructions. Initially there is an object, either a concrete object or an imagined object or an abstract concept. Then, you should try to be just a receiving observer without your own emotions or prejudices; let the object flow into you information that is expressed only as emotion or lines and patterns, or in particular as a feeling of color. The feeling of color is, to be precise, understood as seeing the color, and the text often refers to seeing color. On the other hand, it could be understood that the feeling is similar to the feeling that a particular color awakens in us. Thus, we would compare the feeling of a matter in question with that of a particular color; if we found it to be similar to, for example, a red-awakened feeling, we would call the result red. In this case, we should have a really wide range of different emotions that match different colors and their intensities. However, I could not imagine myself - and hardly anything else - to have the enormous scale of emotion needed and thus excluded this interpretation. I concluded that the end result is experience of shape and/or color. I practiced closely but I experienced no emotion or color or shape perception.

I changed the exercise so that I created the feeling I imagined the object should generate. Even this training did not generate a color-form perception despite numerous attempts. In the next step I imagined the color that should be detected. In this case I was able to perceive, I could experience, I could see just like by my physical eyes, the color, the color combinations and shapes I had chosen. It is quite easy to combine a specific concept and an appropriate color-form combination and learn to remember what color-form combination appears when you think about the chosen thing. I increased to a thing or a color-form combination, I have chosen, an emotion and the intensity of the color increased amazingly. As a good example of the increase in intensity of colors in physical world, one could say, for example, is the color saturation of a planed wood board that emerges by the use of wood oil.

I was able to attach to each idea what color, color intensity, shape and plastic movement I just wanted. Sometimes I needed hardly a noticeable effort of will or an intention of an effort of will, or it was enough to draw attention to an internal or external object, to create an inner color experience. Eventually, the color-shaped video could start completely spontaneously. Likewise, I could learn, for example, the connection of certain red nuance to passion or pale blue nuance to mental coldness, and the experience of color could be repeated when I paid attention to that meaning.

In my own meditation exercises, I tried to act either only as an insensitive receiver or as an emotional receiver. However, I could not detect to appear information flow that was different from information through physical senses; not from an imagined or concrete object, not a type of sense perception or emotion or meaning. I learned to listen to fellow people without preliminary appraisal or prejudices, and tried to experience the experience of the speaker or the object of my perception. I practiced both mere emphatizing or mere intellectual analysis. The ability to experience empathy increased, but I found the negative feelings and thoughts of others to be very strong and offensive and it was difficult to subside back to a neutral state of the soul.

Color-form films were not the only spontaneously occurring experiences, but I began to hear the inner music that later evolved into a symphony music type. If the music was over, it was only necessary to think of an instrument or a piece of melody, and the musical performance continued. Both the color-form video and the music were, in a sense, without referential meaning; wonderful performances indeed, but no conceptual connection to the surrounding world.

Evaluation especially from neuroscientific viewpoints and discussion

In my opinion, Steiner's way of using the power term is problematic; the feeling does not become a force and further from force to spiritual perception. His text implies conceptual confusion. Power refers to the concept that it changes something to something but it does not change itself to some other concept. Power, of course, can vary in magnitude. The feeling of power can certainly be felt but it is a feeling and not a force. I do not know whether there is any ambiguity in the terms of the original text or a blunder of translators. The difficulty of defining the concepts and words used by Steiner and the deviation from usual sense, blurs and makes it difficult to understand the things presented, unfortunately.

Pekka Ervast, a Finnish Rosicrucian, presents (Ervast 1960. Chapter VII, Värien ja muotojen maalima,The World of Colors and Shapes) that the findings of different clairvoyants from the same subject may be different. As an example, he mentions that one clairvoyant can see red in the aura of a person and the other sees green. Likewise, different clairvoyants may see the shapes in the aura of a person differently. He interprets the differences in observations due to the personal traits of clairvoyants; a person sees, hopes and admires something he lacks. After a man has removed his personal feelings, he sees the right colors and when he has cleansed his thoughts, he sees the right shapes. According to Ervast, clairvoyance is about color and shape detection. The observation can thus vary from a person to a person. Perceptions must be interpreted to understand the significance of the observations. The interpretation must be divided into the analysis of the properties of the object itself and, on the other hand, the analysis of the observer's characteristics and, thirdly, the analysis of the information transfer process. There is also a need for an ontological (the doctrine of the ultimate quality of being) analysis of the connection between feeling and color. Which one is primary, do they always appear together, can there be a feeling without color, what is the emotional and the color substance, etc.? Ervast argues that from one person flows information to another person’s aura, the receiving person becomes conscious of the information and the conscious interpretation of the information is color. He does not clearly state whether the effect of the information is also a conscious or unconscious feeling. If the effect is a conscious feeling, why is color needed for interpretation? If the effect is unconscious, then the color is more suitable for interpretation. But because color as such is not a meaningful experience, it has to be transformed in consciousness into meaning or feeling.

The phenomenon of synaesthesia has been known in literature for centuries. The phenomenon means perception in the area of one sense modality caused by stimulation in the area of another sense modality. That is to say, for example, hearing a sound, say C, causes the perception of blue.  In synesthesia, a stimulus of single sensory region (modality) is attached by a perception that has no counterpart in the object. Additional perception may be within the same sensory region (modality) or another sensory region. This kind of general form of synaesthesia is a color that is automatically associated with a letter, number, day of the week, or month. Traditionally, it has been thought that sensory stimulation produces a perception that has no clear representation in the sensory object. More detailed new studies have shown that this is not a so-called low-level combination of perception experience, but rather a “higher” level idea theory; discerning the idea, meaning, concept, intellectual state, event, thoughts, moods, memories, or imagination in color. Mroczko-Wąsowicz and Nikolić have published a scientific overview of semantic meanings in synesthesia (3). They have come to the ideaesthesia theory that man is not a mechanical mirror, which without distortion creates an image of an external reality. On the contrary, the sensory sensation is subjected to the meaning experience that modifies the sensory sensation. Numbers, letters, and time units are the most common forms of synaesthesia. Such factors are, at least in Western countries, the first truly abstract concepts a child must learn. In the learning process, in the absence of a concrete object, the child creates an internal object - a color - rather than a concrete object, when he has not yet learned thoughtfully demanding abstract content. Thus, the synaesthetic integration facilitates the transition from concrete thinking to abstract. Each synaesthetic has his own, individual, usually quite narrow region of in the experienced world, idea-related sense experience such as colors.

The main purpose of my own research was to investigate, the perception outside physical senses, about reality above material world. My meditation practice was designed and performed for this particular purpose. In order to eliminate the effect of a presumption on possible results, I did not initially read carefully or print in my mind what color or shape should be observed. So the philosophical bottom-up idea was that the object would produce a perception that would then be given an interpretation. Because I didn't generate the observation, I tried to imagine myself the concept-related observations. This way I came to investigate the idea of ​​synaesthesia, even though at that time I did not understand I performed such research and I did not knew the whole concept. In the ideaestesia, the philosophical foundation reverses the traditional from object to observation model; in contrast the flow is from a concept to a perception. In addition, according to an EEG-based study, the concept-based perception is again interpreted as a significant new stimulus (8). I ended up with the same interpretation as the ideaesthesia researchers, although I could not analyze my findings very far. My crystallized conclusion was that I see what I imagine.

I am not the only one who has developed synaesthesic experiences. Adults can be trained to acquire synaesthetic experiences. A study published in 2014 shows how 13 university students acquired letter-color synestesia (9).

Activation of the meaning of words or grammatical modifications can manifest as changes in the saturation or luminosity of the experienced colors (3,4,5,6,7). The undersigned experienced that color saturation and luminosity changed as a function of intensity of emotion. Synaesthesia can be divided into a surface projection, where the colors appear at the object and in the neighborhood projection where the colors are located in the observer's immediate space. The descriptions of Steiner and Ervast are about the surface projection, the undersigned had both forms.

The undersigned's studies deepened and made clearer concepts-based experiences of phenomena, the perception of world, thinking and conceptualization. The title of Steiner's book is strongly associated with the promise of knowledge of higher world. I did not achieve the goal to get experiential knowledge of a higher world in the sense the book means. The extent to which the failure to meet or fail to comply with ethical terms have had an effect on the failure of achieving the goal, has been excluded from the scope of this article. However, I would like to mention that I tried to fulfill the conditions conscientiously. Because I did not have enough references and I found the study as zero study for I did not achieve the presumed results, I did not write my research report, or even tell about my study. The new concept ideaesthesia combines my experience with the experience and research of other researchers. For my part, I would propose a new term to describe some of my own research results, namely the term pathiaesthesia. The name is due to the Greek words pathia, feeling, and aesthesia, sensation. Although the original goal did not materialize as described by Steiner, my research, however, helps to grasp an understanding of how the biological system can produce experience or how the monad of theosophy communicates with our physical world and with the biological system. My study clarifies how the conceptual network communicates with the sensory experience and figure out the conceptual network’s role in the ability to be awake and act in the surrounding world. The results did not reveal the actual transcendental world, as shown by occultism, but they decipher the abstract world.

It is known that sensory stimuli cause electrical impulses to the nerves. How impulses or unknown parallels with impulses or independent unknown factors create consciousness is still a big question mark. According to occultism, consciousness exists even without the physical body. In contrast to Leibniz's windowless monads, consciousness is considered, by occultism, also receiving information through superphysical organs, and this information must be transformed in consciousness into meanings, concepts and feelings. Certain mechanisms and laws must work in this over-physical conversion process. In recent decades, the connection between physical brain function and mental experiences, feelings and thoughts has been explored in a variety of ways. Whatever the essence of the "superphysical" brains is, philosophically the principle is the same concerning physical and superphysical; an object triggers a stimulus, a stimulus causes perception, in other worlds experience, and the higher form of experience is the experience of meaning. In the case of ideaesthesia, the situation is the opposite: the experience of meaning causes sense experience, which can be mistakenly kept as a result of the stimulus created by an external object.

As my training progressed, the inner world, especially for sight and hearing experiences, became very real. I could not doubt its reality. At best, the inner world is more real and brighter than the physical world. I can very well imagine that such intense experiences will entice you to interpret the cause of the experience coming from the world around you, not from the experiencer self. Faith, hope, and a firm belief in transcendental reality are capable of dazzle other interpretations of the experience of the phenomenon. I looked at myself - as today - as a seeker of truth, incorruptibly open to all interpretations. With impartial, accurate observation and analysis, I became disappointed with a different result than Steiner: my perception experience told me about myself, not the outside world. In my view, the relationships of the connection of colors and shapes to concepts described by Steiner and Ervast, can also be explained by the ideaestesia.

Unlike the interpretation of the synaesthesia researchers and the signer, Steiner and Ervast consider visual perception to come from an external, supernatural object. The interpretation of Steiner and Ervast can, of course, be correct but sufficient explanation of their description, and from the findings of the signer presented in this research report, is ideaestesia in which a person's natural way to form concepts, the integral connection of concept formation to sensory perception, modification of sensory perception, and the effect of pre-assumption on sensory experience are essential. Although the phenomena described by Steiner and Ervast are suited to the concept of ideaestesia, their argument cannot be denied directly. My research did not support their understanding; the interpretation remains open.

References:

Ervast, Pekka (1960). Salaperäinen ihminen. Ruusu-Risti Helsingissä 1960. Hyvinkään Kirjapaino. Hyvinkää 1960.

Steiner, Rudolf (1968). Miten saavutetaan tietoa korkeammista maailmoista. Suomalaisten Antroposofien Liitto. Helsinki. Vammalan Kirjapaino Oy. Vammala 1968.

1. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hard_problem_of_consciousness

2. https://steiner.presswarehouse.com/sites/steiner/research/archive/how_to_know_higher_worlds/how_to_know_higher_worlds.pdf

3. https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnhum.2014.00509/full

4. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed?Db=pubmed&Cmd=ShowDetailView&TermToSearch=17760774

5. https://www.cell.com/current-biology/fulltext/S0960-9822(07)01760-5?_returnURL=https%3A%2F%2Flinkinghub.elsevier.com%2Fretrieve%2Fpii%2FS0960982207017605%3Fshowall%3Dtrue

6. journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2007.01981.x?url_ver=Z39.88-2003&rfr_id=ori%3Arid%3Acrossref.org&rfr_dat=cr_pub%3Dpubmed&

7. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed?Db=pubmed&Cmd=ShowDetailView&TermToSearch=22231728

8. journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2008.02103.x

9. https://www.nature.com/articles/srep07089.pdf

Rāja Yoga revised

(The current article deals with the theory and practise experiencies of rāja yoga . Other articles are found in the column on the right and are arranged by date of posting. Please click the year and the month to find  the title and the text.)

Rāja Yoga revised

Yoga as I have understood and experienced it

Yoga is practiced by both a breaded, indigent hermit as well as a trendy, sporty business woman. Yoga can mean stretching and relaxation of extremities like logical thinking, imagination training, astral journey or watchful observation. You need to know the context to understand what a speaker or writer imply. The known roots of yoga disappear into the inaccessible twilight of the cultures of Indus river valley. In the first millennium, prior to Christian times, yoga was well known and manifested in the texts of Rig Veda, Upanishads and Bhagavad Gita (1).

In my presentation I deal with the eight elements of yoga, i.e. anga, and how I ended up studying yoga. My primary source has been Ernest Wood's book “Yoga” translated into Finnish language 1968. The original English publication is apparently “Yoga” by Penguin Books (1959, revised 1962). I will present the most important areas that have emerged specifically for me. I'll leave the discourse of less important, irrelevant, or even, in my opinion, harmful areas of yoga. Next, I´ll move on to my own research and experience. Finally, I evaluate the significance of the results in terms of both practical life and ontology.

Yoga and youth culture in the 1960s

In order to understand the perspective of the signer and his experiences of yoga, one must know the youth culture of 1960s. I've familiarized myself with yoga fifty years ago in the late 1960s as a high school boy. The band The Beatles made yoga widely known throughout the world. Their teacher, for a short time, was Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, a creator of his own transcendental meditation technique and a global organization. His image has been seen by almost every youth at that time. Some might have read his teachings. I did not study his doctrine more closely. However, the words and music of The Beatles reflected the yoga themes. The youth culture of the time, that is to say music, visual arts and writings, were dominated by the appreciation and emphasis of the inner world, personal experience, and the philosophy of peace and love in ethics (hippies). Famous hits were, for example, “All you need is love” by The Beatles (1967), "The Sound of Silence" by Simon & Garfunkel (1964), "Sisältäni portin löysin” (I found a gate inside me)” by the Rock Band Tasavallan presidentti (1970), text Pekka Streng and  “San Francisco” by The Mamas & The Papas (John Phillips) (1967).

In the source list of the High School Foreign Religion Textbook I found the Yoga book by Ernest Wood. The Finnish translation was freshly released. Apparently, the book is not very well-known in Finland because it is not mentioned in Matti Rautaniemi's quite extensive book on yoga (2015) (Rautaniemi 2015). I bought the Wood´s book for myself and I started to learn with enthusiasm, devotion, systematic, and thoroughly. I did not know about Ernest Wood's backgrounds at that time. As I made this presentation, I checked his personal data to learn that he was Professor and President of Physics at Sind National College and Madanapalle College. He promoted theosophical views in writing and lectures in India, in many Asian countries, in Europe and in the Americas. After the death of Annie Besant, she lost the presidential election of the Theosophical Society to George Arundale. He was involved in the groundings of several pioneering schools with Maria Montessori.  Wood was well versed in yoga theory and practice and knew several yogis (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ernest_Wood).

Yoga philosophy - why yoga?

The purpose of yoga was difficult to understand based on the texts I red. As you read the presentations, it feels like you understand and in the next moment you find yourself completely lost. The more reports one read, the more confusing it is to realize the goal. The presentations swarm terms such as Nirvana, liberation, extinction, joy, bliss, ecstasy, insight, expansion of consciousness, freedom, independence, moksha and the evanescence of everything. However, Ernest Wood presents some clear points. The conclusion of the definition of yoga´s goal is to find undefined. It is a discovery journey that achieves something unknown. This unknown is not suitable to determine because we do not know it. Definitions would create a presumption that we will then find and hold on this discovery, not as our own creation, but as a true, objective thing. Our mind is inclined to produce assumed perceptions that can realistically mimic objective sensations. Yoga's discovery is beyond the physical body (rupa) and mind. Therefore, the physical body must be brought into a state where it does not attach the attention of the mind or disturb the meditation. For this purpose the elements of yoga that train the physical body have been developed: position (āsana), breath control (prānāyāma), and arrest of sensory function (pratyāhāra). We need to understand that our essence is not the same as our mind and therefore our will, feelings and thoughts must also be rejected. Even our desire to develop and achieve is ultimately left out.

On the basis of what I read, I understood one of the goals of yoga as independence (kaivalya in Sanskrit) and secondly the opening of the inner world. Kaivalya can also be considered as oneness. According to Wood, Patanjali's Yoga Sutras present Ishwara, or God, as a Spirit (purusha), who is free and independent. The goal of yogi is to achieve the same independence and the yogi, in this sense of independence, becomes like God, assimilates into God. In one interpretation, the yoga term is said to be due to the Sanskrit verb (yuj), which means binding, the active action of uniting or becoming united. I concluded that my consciousness and experience will widen, the inner world will unfold, but by reading or pondering, I did not find out what the opening of the inner world could bring. The result would be at least worthwhile, obviously surprising, and only living in accordance with yoga advices could reveal this secret. An essential condition for achieving the goal is viveka, a resolution, the ability to distinguish the essential from the non-essential, the true from the false and the limited. The second condition is the colorlessness (vairāgya), which refers to the state where the external objects do not wake up desires. The meaning of kaivalya is close to the autarchy (autarkia) of stoicism and viveka is close to the prohairesis (Epiktetos), respectively. The concepts are not identical and the differences are due, for example, to the differences in the structure of the systems as a whole, as well as the differences in the details of the theories. These ideas of two systems are more relatives when we consider our sense of experience; not so much strictly philosophically.

It is not possible to imagine achieving the ability to make a distinction (viveka) unless you cannot control the stray, sudden changes, fixations and inertia of the mind. According to Patanjali, yoga is precisely the suppression of the changes of mind (yogas chitta vritti nirodhah). The teaching of Yoga´s eight elements (anga) deals with and the training contains the control of the mind's movements. Progress in yoga also requires a great longing for freedom and understanding that work must be done without complaining, because external conditions are not obstacles. Other people cannot help or prevent human development. An aspirant, without resentment or hostility, has to rely on the laws of life and unwaveringly strive for his goal.

According to the philosophy of yoga, all things of life happen between the outside world and the upper, actual self (ātmā). Ātmā is what the student does not know yet. The physical body and mind are the mediators between atmā and the outside world. The physical body and mind must be harmonized, set up, clean and make healthy for the purpose of mediation. With the help of yoga, I thought I would find the answer to the burning questions of the young man looking for: what is consciousness, why does life look dualistic, how to overcome the feeling of evil and to achieve happiness, how to avoid hatred and violence.

From the very beginning, I tried to learn the basic terms of yoga in Sanskrit. Later, I discovered that the choice was particularly successful. Any translation of the terms does not exactly match the meaning of the original language and the translation necessarily makes it difficult to understand the ideas precisely. The original terms can best be used to learn the ideas and practises to be addressed. When you have a deeper insight into the thought structure, the original terms immediately bring to mind the correct concept. On the other hand, yoga species are rich in variety and not necessarily understood the ideas in the same way. Over time, hundreds, even thousands of years, must have had changes in terms of understanding concepts within each yoga domain and yoga school.

First anga - yama

The first steps of yoga for restraint (yama) and adherence (niyama) concern the optimization of body and mind for the purpose of mediation and our attitude towards our outside world, ethics. Yama's first part is ahiṃsā, nonviolence, whose meaning should be understood through the basic doctrines of yoga philosophy, namely karma and rebirth. Although ahiṃsā is a passive ethic, through karma law it also includes an active part, doing good for others, because good deeds shorten karmic debt, while non-violence just prevents the formation of new debt. The second part is satya, truthfulness. You must say and do what you know or think to be true, do not want to lie intentionally or tell half truths. It is quite own chapter to decipher how we know and find out the truth.

The third part is asteya, abstain from theft. The fourth is brahmacarya, which literally means Brahma-like, God-like spiritual behavior and lifestyle. In this context, Ernest Wood only deals with sexual abstinence, which is believed to increase vitality. In fact, I understood the matter much broader. First I tried to find out what God is, what qualities God has and what can be required of man on the basis of these qualities. Fifth part is aparigraha, non-greed, abstain from covetousness. We should not covet more property, but also do not stick to what we already own. Ideally, the abandoning of physical ownership is the result of focusing on spiritual affairs, understanding the karma law and living according to it. An advanced yogi does not make plans for himself, but receives what comes and carries the responsibilities of the world's well-being, witch is the inspiration for his actions.

Second anga - niyama

The first part of adherence (niyama) is purity of mind and body (shaucha), second part satisfaction (santosha). The explanations emphasize satisfaction with the state of the world and the circumstances. You should not complain, but accept the premise and apply your own thoughts and conclusions to the realities at hand. Santosha is tantamount to Stoics´ starting point in their speculations; we are living in the best possible world. Only from this world can we strive and draw our attention and our energies to what we can influence. The third part is self-discipline (tapas). Be determined to live according to what you know is the best. It's about using will. The fourth part is self-examination (swādhyāya). We need to study our own being and character, and especially what we consider to be the true self, eternal, pure, happy and free. As a result of swādhyāya, one is promised contact with the desired divinity. The fifth and final part is the centering of the mind in God (Īshwarapranidāhna), from which a successful contemplation (samādhi) follows.

Third, fourth and fifth anga – āsana, prānāyāma and pratyāhāra

After Yama and Niyama, the three following areas of yoga are position (āsana), breath control (prānāyāma), and stopping of sensory activity or sensory control (pratyāhāra). The purpose of these exercises is to bring the body into a relaxed state where the body is not the focus of our attention and therefore does not interfere with meditation. According to Patanjali, the position must be such as one feels oneself relaxed and effortless. Thought is guided to Endless.

In breathing exercises, not only breathing is practiced, but mind is settled to calm, disciplined, focused state. I practiced some techniques like 1: 4: 2 breathing. While inspiring one unit of time it is recommended to think in mind pūraka. Then breathing is arrested and kumbhaka is pronounced in the mind four times and then rechka twice during the exhalation period. Autonomous activities like breathing work within us without our attention. The state of affairs is a blessing, and I do not think that these activities should be brought back to conscious control. Of course, temporary evaluation and theoretical study of autonomous functions may be appropriate.

As regards the control of the senses (pratyahara) I have realized that one should ignore the data transmitted by the senses. It is advised that the gaze is allowed to rest undisturbed while keeping the sight focus point about a couple of meters from himself during selected yoga sessions. The methods of physical cleansing presented in my source seemed to be strange to a modern western person, and I refrained from becoming more familiar with them.

Internal angas – dhāranā, dhyāna ja samādhi

The inner parts of yoga are concentration (dhāranā), meditation (dhyāna) and contemplation (samādhi). When studying, it is recommended to take a general approach on what you know about a topic before you begin reading and after reading, stop thinking about what new information and thoughts or experiences you got from the book and how they fit into what you knew before (Wood 1968, p. 112). Meditation and contemplation are not sates of mind or just being but they are something that is done. In concentration, attention is directed to one idea, thing or object, for example a cow. Then, search in the mind a thing related to a cow, for example, milk and after that return to a cow. Continue to next thing, for example, a tassel tail and after that again to a cow. This continues until no new features come to mind. The pupil develops a mood or habit of returning to the center. The next move is to shift to meditate the relationship between cow and milk, and when one can´t find any new things about the relationship between cow and milk, one is recommended to move on to the relationship between a cow and a tassel tail, and so on.

Over time exercises lead to contemplation, where self-perception disappears. In this case, the practitioner has been immersed into the object. One acts and conceives being aware of being in the object. The aspirant will become united with the object. The action ends in time and one becomes aware of herself. When you return to your own self, you bring along an idea, thought or feeling connected to the whole subject. In the exercises, you will learn how to feel contemplation. Wood gives an example. The demonstrator's state of mind, in which he is completely immersed in his performance, forgets himself during the lecture, develops and monitors the subject and not before the end of the performance becomes aware of himself. This example deciphers the omen of developing ability to contemplate.

Samādhi is divided into two species, one in which the object is recognized (samprajnāta) and one without recognition (asamprajnata). The former applies to things known in the world and the latter to those behind it. According to Wood, a distinction is made between concrete matters and their ideas. Here, one can´t avoid the observation that the interpretation of Yoga philosophy is done through Plato's treatise of ideas. The pondering deals with such a subtle essence that is out of time and place, is the same in all circumstances and at all times, and always causally relates to other beings and objects. This subtle essence is of the same nature as the mind. It is abstraction, reality, power in the world, the basic power of all growth. This inseparable subtle basic reality is also material (prakriti). Here is a contradiction with the present perception that abstraction is opposite to material. A thing is either abstraction or material, not both at the same time. If both attributes are true at the same time, further logical processing of the matter would be impossible.

Things are a dense substance (prakriti), they have a form, but the mind is a subtle, a formless substance. Meditation and contemplation in prakriti's area have a seed (sabīja), they are aware of matter (samprajnāta).  Sabīja is divided into observing (savitarka) and non-observing (nirvitarka) and on the other hand investigative (savichāra) and non-investigative (nirvichāra). In my understanding, non-investigative contemplation can be used to realize or achieve a sense of something more, using the feeling (love or connectedness or interest) or willpower. Accepting to take along emotion and will contradicts the demand of viveka principle in the sense in which I understood viveka. At least emotion disturbs viveka. At some point, you should feel joy or bliss (ānanda) that maintain the state you have attained.

Behind the materiality is the Spirit (purusha). The true self of man is placed on the level of spirit. The student has made a clear distinction between his physical body and his thoughts, which are not his true self. Contemplation in the area of ​​the spirit is seedless (asamprajnāta samādhi) without an idea or object, without a seer or seen. One should try to think about being that is outside of a thought, called God, Absolute, Consciousness, Self, Reality. No comparisons or opposing layouts should be made, no definitions, no classifications (Wood, 1968, p. 66). It is not about analyzing God, the Absolute, the Consciousness, the Self, the Reality, but about knowing the existence or the knowledge of existence that will be achieved by the power of will, going over the classifications. It is recommended to perform an existence event maintained by will. On the other hand, it is said that all inner yoga members, including samādhi, are doing, not being. At least at this stage, the meaning of the text will be blurred, deceived or lost. Does this concern feeling connected with samādhi? Does feeling here perhaps mean comprehension or (re)identification? How does the will work without an object and subject? If I have understood correctly, Yoga books tell that at this stage the object and the subject will become one.

When you go to the yoga path, you are told that achievements are something that is unknown. That is why you should not lock the results. Of course, references and descriptions of what the results may or may not be can be presented and have been presented. The starting point is, according to contemporary science, that a study based on subjective findings, the previous knowledge and judgment of the researcher, lead observations, results and interpretations to their own channel, shape the results and can prevent the discovery of new experiences and interpretations. In asamprajnāta samādhi we arrive in an area where there is no longer logic and the usual meaning of words, the intentions are lost. From this level of existence or awareness, one cannot say anything positive or negative; one really can't say about it anything truthfully. However, I have kept the attainment of this state or stage meaningful. I would like to agree with Oscar Wilde's statement that "nothing worth knowing can be taught".

My own experiences

Ethics is something that will never come to an end; with each of our conclusions and actions we create an ethical act. Even the things we pay attention do indicate our ethical level. The first two areas of yoga have given me a constant reason for reflection and led to the acquisition of new knowledge in literature and led to decisive choices in my life. I have looked into the matter more in the paper entitled "Ethics in Theosophy - personal experiences concerning theosophical and Rosicrucian ethical road, assessments included".

As for the position, I chose the Egyptian sitting position because, among other things, the lotus position caused tension in my body. The book also shows stretching exercises, some of which I have preserved to launch muscle tension and irritation in the treatment of tendon attachment sites according to modern, target specific physiotherapy treatment guidelines. I quickly learned to calm my breath and soon I just needed my attention for a moment to breathing or I didn't need to remember my breathing at all; it become calm or was calm. I found that the 1: 4: 2-breathing was useful when opening a stuffy nose. Pulling the breath through another nostril and out of the other, breathing in through the same nostril from which you had exhaled and then out of the other and so on. The 1: 4: 2-breathing works perfectly to curb vomiting reflex during gastroscopy.

I rarely used the concentration of consciousness on the physical body. Sometimes I went through my body in imagination for relaxation purposes. I didn't actually do any chakra yoga or kundalini yoga exercises. Hatha Yogis and tāntrikas are of the opinion that thinking of chakras or rather thinking in chakras accelerates or calms them, depending on circumstances. This viewpoint is behind their conception and practices concerning the meditation and worship of chakras (Wood 1968, p. 134). For me the matter has brightened so that the concentration of consciousness on a point in the body does not promote, but prevents understanding and experiencing the true self; hatha and laya yoga are obstacles to raja and ātma yoga. I explicitly wanted to open my consciousness, not to contract.

The instructions recommend regular (dhāranā-dhyāna-samādhi) meditation moments. At the time of getting to know yoga and later in my life, especially during the most intensive bhakti yoga period, I performed regular or almost regular exercises. In the past fifty years, exercises have been mostly irregular and meditation more or less conscious. I have emphasized dhāranā, dhyāna and samādhi differently at different periods and moments. Meditation in the form I describe in this presentation has become a habit, a custom, at times even automation, invaded into my ether if we use theosophical expression. In my own opinion, dhārana and dhyāna can often only last for an instant. Often just focusing on the topic is enough for concentration, and meditation goes to the analytical stage, and samādhi does not necessarily follow. Meditation can happen almost whenever and wherever, can take a fleeting moment or hours. The perfect way of meditation, described by Wood, has still been unreachable. Initially, and also later, at some points in time, I can hardly form or recall a couple of things related to a topic, or I just can´t concentrate.

Besides raja and ātma yoga, I have also carried out bhakti yoga. From the beginning of the 1990s, after studying Rosicrucianism interpreted by Pekka Ervast , I began to follow in practice the law of karma. I felt the unity of the whole creation and served more intensively as I was a part of the whole and my responsibility was the service. According to my understanding, these facts are forms of bhakt, service, devotion (worship). Bhakti is considered here as a trust in the good law of karma, and acting in accordance with the law. From the point of view of thought and action, I performed karma yoga; I was trying not to create a new negative karma and moreover tried to pay with joy karma debt.

Trying to open the inner doors, opening the inner doors, was the most important part of yoga for me, the most important goal, the whole purpose of yoga. I had a deep conviction that the inner world was a reality, even more real than our world of physical eyes. I just needed a way to get into this reality. From the beginning I wanted to find the truth myself. I worked specifically as a scientist, not as a creative artist, such as a writer or painter. My starting point was to make observations, analyze observations and find out, invent interpretations to my observations. My starting point was not to prove anything, a doctrine or a part of a doctrine with my own observations. Even further: even though I had read about the subtle worlds and the spiritual world from theosophical sources, near death experiences, astral travelers, I tried to suppress these preconceptions, tried not to follow these thought images, these lines of thought, in order not to modify the information I received with my preconceived ideas, with my preconceptions. Sure, I occasionally went into creative "play". For example, I attached theosophical ideas of the afterlife into a spontaneous vision or an idea or sensation. This led to a new spontaneous progression of events. When a plot stopped, at its best, only a glimpse of a thought of a thing known to me, got the event chain of experience going on. In my opinion, this was a creative process of my own and did not represent a perception of an otherworldly reality. An example of such a creative process I have compiled the essay "Divine Adventure". From the point of view of my own questioning, and also in a more general scientific sense, this script is mostly sketch, unless if science is considered to be a description of creation and the progress of the creative process.

In the early days, my meditation practice sessions mostly stayed unfinished. Later, for longer periods of time, I ended up having the ability to clear my mind. I was conscious and aware of my existence and that was the only thing I had. No emotion, no thought, no awareness of the external physical world or the physical body. Such going into the state of emptiness and staying therein have become automatic later. At one time in my youth, this state was overwhelmed by a crippling sense of fear and horror. Once in a different situation than meditation, I began to imagine the frightening presence of an outside spirit. After these experiences, I had to hit the bottom of the brake for some time in order to maintain my mental health. Later, sure, I started the meditation exercises again. The negative experience sharpened my insight and belief that I myself choose what I think, believe, read and want to see, excluding asamprajnata samadhi, where the daily controlling self shines with his absence.

I have also completed visualization and meditation practises according to the instructions of Rudolf Steiner. These exercises, their results and the results of the analysis I have described in a thesis, "What sensory experience tells us? - Experiences on the path of spiritual knowledge”. In later decades, especially during the most active bhakti yoga period, the inner gate was often open until I deliberately shut down the gate. The reason for the closure was that I realized that I could not find any new significant knowledge via this gate.

Evaluation

My experience is that yoga is a way to help shape the world and create order and purposefulness for personal life, and therefore at it´s at best yoga is useful. I am not the only one who has been searching for the most fundamental essence of the world with help of yoga. The question concerns ontology. Yoga philosophy is multifaceted and escapes the Western tradition of dualism. He who has received western education tries to look and interpret the philosophy of yoga by his own western way of conceptualization.

In exploring our experience world, Yoga philosophy begins with the idea that yoga technology, self-examination helps us to determine the existence and essence of a more fundamental, more significant thing (purusha) than our starting state can determine. In my view, purusha does not conceptually match, for example, the spirit world of Christianity, although many seem to believe so. Purusha is inconceivable, while clear views are presented about the spiritual world of Christianity. According to theosophy, the basic essence of man, aatma has the same essence as purusha. However, monads, the essence of humans and the group souls of animals, are discernible in purusha (Ervast 1918. Towards Light. Chapter XI. The Origin of Self).

I have found it difficult to figure out what the relationship is between purusha and experiencing purusha. The guidelines emphasize experiencing but separating the subject of experience and experience is problematic. The Western philosophy tradition requires such separation, but it is difficult to find such separation in yoga literature. It is challenging to make yoga philosophy and scientific thinking commensurate.

What does yoga seek and what is the ontology of yoga philosophy? In a sense the goal of yoga and scientific research is similar; their goal is open and thus research results are unknown, often also unpredictable. Results should not be pre-locked. A new theory must be created on the basis of new data. The current neuroscience gives its own viewing angle to the understanding of the conscious experience. Current neuroscience does not seek undefined essence or existence, but seeks to explain how the brain could create consciousness. In current cognition science and neuroscience, it is considered that conscious self-examination cannot explain our conscious experience because the functioning of our nervous system is inaccessible to our consciousness (Fazekas 2018); neuroscience with its new technical equipment, computer science, biochemistry, biology, biotechnology, endocrinology, genetics, psychology, etc, is required. The current scientific approach to understanding our world of experience is to understand the brain as an information processing body in adapting to the human environment, especially from the perspective of evolution.

As a young man, I was struck by the problem of dualism, what my own consciousness is and what is our physical world. In childhood, we talked about heaven and hell. The youth culture of my time, yoga and theosophical literature and other sources presented me new concepts of supernatural worlds that differed from the Lutheran doctrine. I believed that these worlds could be discovered by intensive introspective methods. Ernest Wood as well as the teachers of theosophy, anthroposophy, and the Rose Cross presented these methods credibly. I believed that adherence to these techniques could reveal the knowledge of truth.

Although my contemplation has been almost always fragmentary and irregular, I consider the yogic discipline have had a decisive impact on my life. In my own view, with the practice of the vairaga (colorlessness), my ability for objective, non-affective detection and evaluation is strengthened. Practice, colorlessness and studying have contributed to my viveka, to separate essential from frivolous. My ability to concentrate has been greatly improved. The pursuit of the most objective and thorough analysis of things has become a habit. The development of concentration and analysis has been paramount, central to my studies.

Studying and analyzing for fifty years´ time, I have ended up in the following results:

1. Meditation can help to achieve a significant improvement in concentration, memory recall, and attention, and enhance analytical thinking.

2. A state of internal tranquility can be achieved, where the inner gate of consciousness can be opened. I have received music, images and video like episodes resembling physical world; many of these has been spontaneous, effortless (like the spontaneous revelation). Manipulating these spontaneous revelations by conscious will efforts, one can invent desired ideas, events and descriptions as a creative process.

3. The inner world can become opened with practice, but besides the physical world, I have not found another or other objective worlds that I could observe by superphysical senses. The inner perceptions obtained through the practice are explained by the concepts formed by own study and thinking. Our ideas shape physical external perceptions and intrinsic experiences of perceptions simulate external ones. (ideaesthesia [2]).

4. I have not developed the feelings described to be connected to samadhi: bliss, joy, or ecstasy. Imaginative abilities (siddhi) described in the yogic literature, such as pre-knowledge or levitation, I did not find to develop.

5. Meditation can provide advanced sensory deprivation. Sensory deprivation studies, in which a person is placed in a dark, softly decorated, echo-proof, silent room, similar types of hearing and visual perceptions are obtained, which the researchers call hallucinations. Neuroscience research shows that the brain is in constant activity with irregular, coordinated, information-processing steps (lasting one hundred - hundreds milliseconds), thought cycles (Chater 2018, p. 129). Independently, outside our will, these cycles will follow each other also during sleep, and only during some modes we can be conscious. A conscious knowing of the present moment takes about two seconds, which includes several thought cycles. From an evolutionary point of view, evolution has formed the brain as an organ to direct the activity of the organism to the outside world, and consequently new thought cycles always follow each other. Ending cycles means death. During sensory deprivation, the cyclic operating model continues to function automatically, creating the observational world by itself. According to brain physiological studies, it is challenging and apparently impossible to stop and reactivate the information flow of the brain. That is why it is difficult and even impossible to maintain a longer time asamprajnāta samādhi state. Some neuroscientists assume that consciousness arises as a phase change from nerve activity to metaphysical reality.

6. I can well imagine that books of the type of out-of-body literature can be written on the basis of mere imagination, even though it is claimed that books tell about objective reality.

7. I would like to say a word of warning, and even several world of warning, of an overly enthusiastic meditation, of marketing meditation techniques, and of imaginative promises of meditation.

8. Always up-to-date ethics can be practiced only by taking into account the ethical aspect repeatedly.

9. My research does not cancel out the doctrines of supernatural worlds, masters of theosophy, white brotherhood, clairvoyance, reincarnation, and other metaphysical doctrines, subjects, and persons. The study shows that even at least the undersigned was unable to prove the objective facts of a supernatural world, even by decent work and understanding.

Sources:

Chater, Nick (2018). The Mind is Flat. The Illusion of Mental Depth and the Improvised Mind. Penguin Random House UK. ISBN 978-0-241-20844-1.

Ervast, Pekka (1918). Valoa kohti. Kustannusosakeyhtiö Tietäjä. Saarijärven Paavo O. Y. Kirjapaino. Jyväskylä 1918.

Fazekas, Peter and Overgaard, Morten Storm (compiled and edited). Theme issue `Perceptual consciousness and cognitive access`. Phil. Trans. R. Soc. B 373; 1755; 19 September 2018. rstb.royalsocietypublishing.org/content/373/1755

Rautaniemi, Matti (2015). Erakkomajoista kuntosaleille. Miten jooga valloitti maailman. Basam Books. ISBN 978-952-260-395-1.

Wood, Ernest (1968). Jooga. Tammi, Helsinki 1968, KK:n laakapaino.

1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yoga

2. https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnhum.2014.00509/full